Thursday, October 21, 2010

A Mish-Mash of Emotion

My emotions have been (a-hem), well, difficult to deal with lately.  I have had an especially hard time the last month or two.  It has been hard to have Dad sick and in the treatment center.  It's been hard to leave family behind after spending a long time with them in Utah this summer.  It's been hard to figure out what our next move should be in our family's infertility battle.  I'm dealing with these emotions and coming to terms with them.  Here's an update on all those fronts!

I have been going through pictures again!!!  I found a lot from this summer that I consider to be from the BEST DAY EVER.  I've been trying to explain to my shrink why I had such a hard time coming home from Utah this past summer.  I have no idea what the answer is to that question, but maybe if I show him these pictures he'll get it better.  How can you not have fun and be happy when you watch children having such fun!?


Olivia looking lovely as ever
Alex, who became super-swimmer boy

Dallon and Isaac jumping in tandem (well, trying to at least)

Isaac looking like Mr. GQ

Erin and Phoenix being sweet sisters

A pod of cute swimmers

Pretty Savannah
My Dad goes home tomorrow from the ""Country Club," as he calls it!!  It's actually the care center he's referring to that he's been in for approximately 100 days following his stroke.  I'm so excited and happy that he's going to be able to sleep in his own room and see family members every day! 
Dad and Mom with my kids at the "Country Club"
  Alex has been playing "Fall ball" this year and he's been having fun.  Most games were rained out but we still had fun cheering him on when we could!

Our infertility journey has taken a hiatus this summer.  My body needed it and so did my psyche!!  My Doctor told me last May that I needed to get my BMI down several points before attempting In-Vitro fertilization, which is the next stop for us.  When you hear you're too fat that is NEVER a fun conversation.. just in case you have never had one.  However, since this was not some kind of revelation for me I knew it was the best thing for me, even putting aside my wishes for more rug rats.  I've lost hundreds of pounds in the past (most fat people are super good at losing weight), but this time I wanted to try something different, something that might actually stick.  So I dug in, increased my work-out intensity (turns out I've been taking it too easy on myself in my routine work outs), and cut back on my calorie intake and I lost 20 pounds (give or take).  I'm half a point away from the BMI I need to be at to do the procedure!  Get this:  I did it sans Weight Watchers, Personal Trainers, Nutri-System, Jenny Craig or hypnosis (all of which I have done in the past).  Plus, this is something I can stick to easily.  Now I know this is a drop in the proverbial bucket for me in terms of what I should lose, but I'm happy with finding a way to take it off slow and sure. 

So, this is what's been in my emotional pool lately.  Just thought you'd like to know!