Thursday, June 3, 2010

FACEBOOK UGH!!! (No offense Facebookers)

The other day Martin was looking on his Facebook page, and though I haven't been on FB for 8 or 9 months, I got seriously nauseous. I was reminded of why I HATE Facebook, and the reason I deactivated my site in the first place. Martin isn't a huge fan either and we have talked extensively (probably too much) about the phenomenon that is "Facebook." We have come up with the 8 top reasons we don't like this social networking staple. Maybe we should try to come up with 10 like David Letterman does on his "Top Ten" but, hey, I'm no David Letterman.

*Disclaimer: I realize many of you are "on" Facebook and I am in no way trying to make you feel judged. You all have your reasons, and I had mine, for using it. My reasons for abstaining just outweigh my reasons for partaking. Also, these things I'm listing here are all things I TOOK PART IN and DID when I was on FB so I am not saying I am innocent of anything. :).

Okay, here we go:

1. Our egotistical/narcissistic tendencies. I bet we all do this. We have all posted how much we got done before sunrise, how many push ups we did this morning, how fast we can wolf down a Big Mac and side of fries, and what a great gift we got our dad for Father's Day. My question is why do we feel like we have to talk about ourselves so much? I found myself bragging and fishing for compliments on an hourly basis on FB and thus, I became more and more self-centered. I was addicted!! I hated that about myself and I don't care for it in other people. It makes me compare myself to people I have no business comparing myself or other loved ones to. And while it made me feel good to say things about yours truly, I hate to think it made other people feel inept or inadequate in any way.

2. This leads me into my second point: The obligatory "sunshine up the rear-end," as my Dad would so eloquently put it. I LOVED it when people would follow up my bragging with a "way to go, Heather," or "Heather, you're such a good person." However, I have come to the conclusion that when I would compliment a person in kind for something they did I didn't mean the compliment AT ALL. To the contrary, I was usually jealous, annoyed or I just plain didn't care. Now I look and still see people doing the same thing. Everyone is just so blasted complimentary. Do they mean it? Are people really that nice? I truly believe there are people like that out there, I'm married to one, but I know I'm not one!

3. I feel like I can't say how I feel on-line. Sometimes I want to tell a friend that they are idiotic or that they're a moron, or just that they made a bad decision, but sometimes I shouldn't. I don't know about you, but I get sick of being positive all the time, so I had to remove the temptation to say what I felt completely. There have been more times than I can count that I've said something hurtful to a "friend" not purposefully meaning to hurt, and vice-versa. I've actually lost relationships because of this pitfall.

4. Pictures and comments about meals. Wow, I don't even know what to say about this. I guess eating is a big part of being a human, so we include it in everything. It just seems weird to me that I get to know what so-and-so had for dinner last night or what this guy bought at Starbuck's. And do I really need to see the photos of it? It's just a weird observation that Martin and I are stumped over. I actually got to see a photo of a ham sandwich some dude had for lunch. A ham sandwich. ATTENTION: We know what a ham sandwich looks like. Sometimes imaginations are required and preferred.

5. Status updates, status updates, status updates. When I deactivated my account it took me 3 weeks to quit thinking of my life in status updates. I realized I was walking around thinking, "I am going to the store now," or "A mean guy cut me off on the freeway today--how shall I get revenge?" I decided I needed to stop thinking of my life in status updates as it was also contributing to my narcissism.

6. Major Time Suck and Distraction. I was checking my FB page almost hourly. I was wasting time I could have been spending with my kids and Martin. I couldn't make a move without first checking my Facebook. I was too dependent on it to feel connected to people, but missing my life with the most important people in the process. Some people can check once or twice a day, but I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried.

7. Poor Grammar. This needs no explanation. I hate poor grammar and bad spelling and it thrives on Facebook. I guess that's what you get from an English Major.

And last but not least:

8. Getting left out. I really got tired of seeing all the dinner dates and parties I wasn't invited to. It was depressing and humiliating to see my friends were getting together and I didn't have a place there with them. It reminded me of High School and everyone knows I hated High School.

Some people can have a healthy relationship with social networking. These eight things may even be the exact reason you LOVE Facebook and if that's the case, I'm happy for you. I know for a fact I have lots of friends who find happiness and fun in Facebook (you know who you are). You must have found a good balance. I'm glad someone out there likes it and finds a purpose for it in their lives. Don't be offended if I struck a chord here somewhere...like I said, we all have our reasons for doing what we do, and I can't speak for you. These are just some funny observations, so laugh (or not).

8 comments:

Tonii said...

Heather, I love you :) I am SO guilty of many of these things too, and often find myself cringing after I have posted a particular status ;) My favorite commercial on tv right now is the one where the news anchor reads fb statuses like they are headlines, "local man signs up for karate today" etc, makes you realize how dumb it all really is! Thanks for keeping it real, I can't WAIT to see you and your family in July!! Love you!!

Jen Vesper said...

Heather, you are amazing...I bet you really do have sunshine coming out of your...well, you know. And I am not saying that just to be nice, although, let's face it...I am that nice. Wait...is that narcissistic of me? Nah, not if it's true. :) I have a picture of me with a chewed up ham sandwich...would you like to see that? I could totally post it on Martin's page for you to see.
But for the record, I love knowing what you are doing every day. Could you just start texting me your status? I promise to send back snarky things and tell you if you are a moron.

Jen Vesper said...

Oh, and by the way...have you seen the South Park facebook episode? I know South Park is evil, but it is seriously hilarious. I laughed so hard sunshine came out my nose.

Heath694 said...

Jen- Har-har. I will definitely start texting you when I get a phone that doesn't take eons to type out!! AKA a full keyboard (actually, this might be rather soon because I hate my phone right now). PS I loved your status updates. When it's someone you really love and miss it's different :).

Tonii- I loved seeing your status updates and I don't think you're guilty of any of the things I mentioned!! Martin and I love hearing about you and your kids so I read your blog all the time:). I can't wait to see you guys either and have an awesome family reunion!!!

Mindy said...

Oh my H E L L!!! Like I said before get a freaking life! :) Facebook can be fun, its like a video game, you just don't let it over run your life! But your reasons were pretty funny... some were a little odd - the food thing? What is up with your "friends" in Washington? Weirdos. That one is not a "Utah thing." I honestly don't get on facebook too often anymore... but have noticed a few of my "friends" that I swear live on facebook and live for facebook. I think it's funny how against facebook you are now and ironically you got all of your siblings and your mother into it! HEHEHEHE!!!! Love ya!

(PS: Maybe you just didn't have the right kind of friends... Stick with the Utah people. We aren't quite as weird as you Washington people!)

mother jen said...

You make me laugh friend. Fired-up with FB still, even eight months post break-up. ;-) This is funny and I do all these things too, but I know you love me regardless of my weaknesses. I will say though I think all humans are a tad self-centered. That's why I resisted blogging for eons, but finally caved. For me it's a social and creative outlet that gives me happy most days. You did forget the game junkies who just leveled up in Farmville and Mafia Wars. PS I agree with Jen, I miss knowing what you're up to and would love text status updates. XO

julie said...

yea, well all I can say is that you were putting way to much into fb and its probably good you got off. I use it daily, but only to check on family out of state and friends i haven't seen in years that live in my old home town. I don't get into the craziness of it. And, I don't ever remembering putting it ahead of my kids or grandkids. It how you take it. I deal with it as a quick way to stay connected, not to brag. And by the way, your kids are so adorable and your blogs are pretty dang good.

Anonymous said...

UM, I DIDNT FINISH READING, SO MAYBE YOU COVERED THIS, BUT YOUR A BLOGGER...SAME THIS AS FACEBOOK, ONLY MORE CRAP. HAVE FUN.