FACEBOOK UGH!!! (No offense Facebookers)

The other day Martin was looking on his Facebook page, and though I haven't been on FB for 8 or 9 months, I got seriously nauseous. I was reminded of why I HATE Facebook, and the reason I deactivated my site in the first place. Martin isn't a huge fan either and we have talked extensively (probably too much) about the phenomenon that is "Facebook." We have come up with the 8 top reasons we don't like this social networking staple. Maybe we should try to come up with 10 like David Letterman does on his "Top Ten" but, hey, I'm no David Letterman.

*Disclaimer: I realize many of you are "on" Facebook and I am in no way trying to make you feel judged. You all have your reasons, and I had mine, for using it. My reasons for abstaining just outweigh my reasons for partaking. Also, these things I'm listing here are all things I TOOK PART IN and DID when I was on FB so I am not saying I am innocent of anything. :).

Okay, here we go:

1. Our egotistical/narcissistic tendencies. I bet we all do this. We have all posted how much we got done before sunrise, how many push ups we did this morning, how fast we can wolf down a Big Mac and side of fries, and what a great gift we got our dad for Father's Day. My question is why do we feel like we have to talk about ourselves so much? I found myself bragging and fishing for compliments on an hourly basis on FB and thus, I became more and more self-centered. I was addicted!! I hated that about myself and I don't care for it in other people. It makes me compare myself to people I have no business comparing myself or other loved ones to. And while it made me feel good to say things about yours truly, I hate to think it made other people feel inept or inadequate in any way.

2. This leads me into my second point: The obligatory "sunshine up the rear-end," as my Dad would so eloquently put it. I LOVED it when people would follow up my bragging with a "way to go, Heather," or "Heather, you're such a good person." However, I have come to the conclusion that when I would compliment a person in kind for something they did I didn't mean the compliment AT ALL. To the contrary, I was usually jealous, annoyed or I just plain didn't care. Now I look and still see people doing the same thing. Everyone is just so blasted complimentary. Do they mean it? Are people really that nice? I truly believe there are people like that out there, I'm married to one, but I know I'm not one!

3. I feel like I can't say how I feel on-line. Sometimes I want to tell a friend that they are idiotic or that they're a moron, or just that they made a bad decision, but sometimes I shouldn't. I don't know about you, but I get sick of being positive all the time, so I had to remove the temptation to say what I felt completely. There have been more times than I can count that I've said something hurtful to a "friend" not purposefully meaning to hurt, and vice-versa. I've actually lost relationships because of this pitfall.

4. Pictures and comments about meals. Wow, I don't even know what to say about this. I guess eating is a big part of being a human, so we include it in everything. It just seems weird to me that I get to know what so-and-so had for dinner last night or what this guy bought at Starbuck's. And do I really need to see the photos of it? It's just a weird observation that Martin and I are stumped over. I actually got to see a photo of a ham sandwich some dude had for lunch. A ham sandwich. ATTENTION: We know what a ham sandwich looks like. Sometimes imaginations are required and preferred.

5. Status updates, status updates, status updates. When I deactivated my account it took me 3 weeks to quit thinking of my life in status updates. I realized I was walking around thinking, "I am going to the store now," or "A mean guy cut me off on the freeway today--how shall I get revenge?" I decided I needed to stop thinking of my life in status updates as it was also contributing to my narcissism.

6. Major Time Suck and Distraction. I was checking my FB page almost hourly. I was wasting time I could have been spending with my kids and Martin. I couldn't make a move without first checking my Facebook. I was too dependent on it to feel connected to people, but missing my life with the most important people in the process. Some people can check once or twice a day, but I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried.

7. Poor Grammar. This needs no explanation. I hate poor grammar and bad spelling and it thrives on Facebook. I guess that's what you get from an English Major.

And last but not least:

8. Getting left out. I really got tired of seeing all the dinner dates and parties I wasn't invited to. It was depressing and humiliating to see my friends were getting together and I didn't have a place there with them. It reminded me of High School and everyone knows I hated High School.

Some people can have a healthy relationship with social networking. These eight things may even be the exact reason you LOVE Facebook and if that's the case, I'm happy for you. I know for a fact I have lots of friends who find happiness and fun in Facebook (you know who you are). You must have found a good balance. I'm glad someone out there likes it and finds a purpose for it in their lives. Don't be offended if I struck a chord here somewhere...like I said, we all have our reasons for doing what we do, and I can't speak for you. These are just some funny observations, so laugh (or not).