Not a Good Thing (Flashback Friday)

Tonight I went out with the fam to dinner. After dinner, on our way out to the car, the wind had picked up and was blowing really hard and the rain had started pretty heavily. So we ran to get in the car. When we got home, Livi looked down at my leg as I was getting out of the car and said, "What's that." I looked down and was HORRIFIED to see a big wad of gum on my pants at calf-level. I was like, "Oh, no. This is not happening to me." How in the heck did that happen? I do not know...I do not even want to think how it happened. I'm guessing it either was under the table at the retaurant or someone chose to spit it out in that wind storm. Either way I am near vomiting point right now. I took my pants off right when I got home, before I even went up to my room and handed them directly to Martin who is currently trying to pull the mess off.

Some of you know I have a HATE/HATE relationship with gum. There is a story to this aversion. This is the story for flashback Friday. Actually there are two stories:

1. As I was growing up we always used to go to West Yellowstone the day after Christmas and stayed until New Years. We did this every year and stayed in a condo there with all my family and a lot of family friends. We were big snowmobilers. We always had to pull this big trailer with all our snowmobiles on it and my mom and dad would take turns driving on the slick roads (my mom is an awesome driver and is better than any man I've ever seen) up to Yellowstone. It usually snowed the whole way there and that made for some treacherous roads. When my dad would drive he would chew gum to stay awake. He is notorious for falling asleep at the drop of a hat, so keeping awake was a bit of a chore. That is all well and good. BUT, he tortured me with this incessant popping and chomping on his gum. He did this even when I begged him to keep it quiet and I would usually end up sobbing in the back when he resisted--all 7 hours of the drive. He was relentless. Ask any of my family. He is very, very annoying. He has actually had people who are complete strangers approach him in movies and shows asking him (begging him) to stop. This wouldn't be so bad, except that he didn't just keep it up on the way to Yellowstone, but every single last vacation we took as a family...and we did a lot of vacationing and traveling. Thus started my hatred of gum.

2. The summer between my Junior and Senior years I was dating a guy I met that summer. I was so into him and we had a lot of fun. It was a summer of love! ...but one evening we went to a dance. As we were dancing (the typical bear-hug) he was chewing gum. I didn't think much of it, eveyone chews gum at that age. At the end of one of the dances he started to apologize profusely--he had gotten gum in my hair. Not just a little, a whole mouth full. He didn't dare tell me (can't blame him) until it was really stuck and a tangled mess. Luckily, my friend Jen was there and we left immediately. She spent the next three hours pulling bits of gum and hair out of my head. I had long curly hair and the gum was everywhere. She had to use peanut butter, then some lemon cleaner stuff my mom had, ice, and finally, lots and lots of snips from the scissors. Jen was heroic. She was able to save a lot of hair, but I was disgusted. The damage had been done.

What the heck is it about me that attracts this kind of thing? I can see it once or twice, but it keeps happening. I get it on my shoes, in my house, in my car. No place is exempt. This is why I hate gum. This, and the fact that I don't like the taste of the stuff. I don't mind people who are quiet about it, but most of the time I find people do not know how to chew it inconspicuously. And for heaven's sake, put it in the garbage when you're done with it. I hate how some people spit it wherever they may be at the time. It is not biodegradable, people. Kids are especially bad at this and that is why I have put a house-wide ban on the stuff. My kids know what will happen if I find them with gum!

Yes, I'm the gum Nazi.